Stephanie Zhou

I would be a good fit for you if you :

—Grew up in an abusive home. It is a different world with different rules if you come from such a background; even after you become an adult, ESPECIALLY after you become an adult. Not many people understand this world except for the few who have lived it.
If you feel understood and even vindicated by books such as People of the Lie by Scott Peck, or You’re Not Crazy – it’s Your Mother by Danu Morrigon; then chances are we are a good fit.

—Constantly second guess yourself. You wonder if you are seeing the truth. It is a very scary and exhausting experience. When you go to do something you feel the need to dot every “i” and cross every “t”. You vacillate between trust and fear in relationships. One second you feel safe with the person and the next, you feel they are a complete villain. If you have experienced this, I know exactly how you are feeling.

—Deal with overwhelming feelings of shame. You feel a conviction that there are things that you must feel shame about. You fear that you will be living a delusion if you don’t feel shame about those things. Maybe you choose not to let go of the shame because you would rather feel bad in a real world than feel good in a false world.

I once wrote in my notes app : “I make one step, I step in shame. I lift a finger, and shame is in the air. It’s in my lungs, in my nostrils as I breathe.” What I have learned is, I do not need that shame. As simple as that sounds, the transformation in me was certainly a radical one when I learned that.